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When it comes to choosing a therapist, it's not a one-size-fits-all scenario.
The therapist-client relationship is a crucial factor in your healing journey, and finding the right fit can greatly impact the effectiveness of your therapy. Here are some of my top tips to help you navigate this important decision: 1. It’s OK to Shop Around Considering the significance of this decision, I would advise taking the time to explore your options.
Most practitioners will have some kind of initial consultation (I call it a meet and greet) where you’ll have an opportunity with multiple therapists to get a feel for their approach and personality. 2. Ensure They Have the Specific Knowledge You Need Therapists come from various backgrounds and specialties. Look for a therapist with expertise in the specific issues you want to address. Likewise, if you’ve been diagnosed with a specific condition, you’ll want to ensure you’re working with someone who has expertise suited to help you. Ask about their qualifications, experience, and training in areas relevant to your concerns, whether it's anxiety, depression, OCD, trauma, grief, or relationship problems. 3. Gauge How You Feel Around Them This one is a bit more intuitive, but of the utmost importance. Pay attention to your gut feeling during your initial meeting/consultation/meet and greet. Do you feel comfortable, safe, and heard? While some nerves can be expected, if something feels off, it may be an early signal that the relationship isn't going to pan out. A competent therapist is crucial, but empathy and a good rapport are equally important. Especially considering the intimate nature of the work you'll do together. You should feel like you can trust and organically connect with them. 4. Develop a List of Questions Prepare a list of questions to ask during your initial consultation. This can help you assess whether or not the therapist is a good fit for your needs and personality. You may have many or few questions, but there are a handful of deeper, more philosophical questions I strongly encourage you to ask to help you arrive at a decision.
These questions should help gain a solid understanding of their philosophy and approach. Based on their answers, I would then suggest attempting to gauge whether or not their style seems like it would be helpful to you, even if it’s a partial guess. Other questions might include:
As long as the questions are appropriate, relevant, and increase your ability to gauge whether or not they can help you — it’s better to ask than wonder. 4. Ensure the Setting Makes Sense for You The setting in which you receive therapy is integral to the process. It's crucial to opt for a format that resonates with your preferences and comfort level. Let's delve into the advantages and drawbacks of various therapy settings to empower you in making an educated choice. In-Person Therapy: Pros:
Cons:
Virtual Therapy: Pros:
Cons:
Hybrid Approach: Pros:
Cons:
When discussing therapy settings with your therapist, approach the conversation openly. Share your preferences, concerns, and any potential barriers you foresee. Your therapist's guidance can also steer you toward a setting that aligns with their therapeutic approach and enhances the overall effectiveness of your time together. Finding the right therapist is a personal journey, and it's okay to take your time to make this important decision. Remember that the therapist you choose should be someone you feel comfortable opening up to and collaborating with on your path to healing and personal growth. The therapeutic relationship is a partnership, and the right therapist will support you in your journey towards improved mental health and well-being. Keep these tips in mind as you embark on your search, and trust yourself to make the best choice for your unique needs. If you happen to be curious what an initial consultation at True Form Counseling and Coaching looks like, check out this article about Meet and Greets.
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Starting with a life coach or therapist can feel quite daunting.
It evokes a sense of vulnerability and risk. Who wants to bare their soul to a stranger, right? Despite what our upbringings, society, or fears may tell us – critique, analysis, and scrutiny are not at all the role of a proficient coach or a therapist. At Trueform Counseling and Coaching, I understand how nerve-wracking it can be, and I want to make the first step as approachable as possible. Which is exactly why our first interaction is what I call a meet and greet. What is a Meet and Greet? As a therapist and coach, one of the most crucial aspects is building a strong relationship with our clients. While it may seem like a simple introduction, a meet and greet can hold immense significance in your journey. What’s the goal of a Meet and Greet? Teaming up together and working collaboratively, at your pace, is paramount to your process. Here are some of the desired outcomes in our time together:
What can you expect? When we sit together for a free meet and greet, I’ll ask what’s bringing you in? I’ll ask permission to help you have the experience of what working with me would feel like. I will answer any questions, provide some education about my approach, and ideally give you a sample of an experiential exercise — something you can take away with you from our time together. You have ample opportunity to discuss what it is you’re looking for. No money necessary, no forms to fill out, and no commitment beyond the conversation. In conclusion, the meet and greet is not just a formality; it can be a crucial step in your healing process. I approach these initial conversations with genuine empathy, active listening, and a commitment to helping you make an informed decision. If you’d like to proceed, you can schedule a Meet-and-Greet here. I’m here to help! I'm sitting in a workshop and the presenter says, "visualize yourself in the running blocks at the starting line on a track...... (he has us really picture this, and we all feel ready to run when he says) on your marks, get set...." and that's it-- he stops speaking. There is a long silence and the room is pregnant with desire for one simple word: "GO!" Which the presenter did not say. He did this again and completed it saying, "on your marks, get set, go." And the room felt significantly different and relieved from the pressure of the incomplete action pattern.
When we have an incomplete action pattern we remain stuck, just like being in the starting blocks ready to run and can't. The drive for the completion is such a strong urge that it returns again and again, even when we don't want it to. Typically, people tend to avoid or suppress this urge for completion and resolution because the feelings are uncomfortable and it just seems like an annoyance that resurfaces from time to time. Since there's brief relief in how you manage to push it out of your awareness this becomes the predominant pattern that recapitulates carrying emotional pain forwards rather than enabling healing and resolution. How do we heal emotional pain: Step 1: learn to become resilient and present because no one can heal their pain when they are checked out, numb or avoiding their challenges. We all do it, but this won't work for healing. Step 2: Agree to take it on and explore the unresolved pain and explore everything you can about the pain: your thoughts, feelings, sensations and beliefs about yourself surrounding the pain. (If you didn't have the power to change the situation in the past, you can face that and realize you can change your reactions to it today.) There are situations we can't go back and change, but we don't have to keep it living rent free in our bodies either, continually knocking at the door, arising again and again looking for resolution. Step 3: follow the sensations in your body as you allow space for whatever arises, including any self judgements or criticisms, no matter how uncomfortable it is to allow space for the uncomfortable feelings. This is important as you agreed with yourself and decided to face it and take it on, stay with it as long as necessary, even though uncomfortable. Dr. Brown says emotional intensity rarely lasts longer than 6 seconds at it's peak. Step 4: When you closely track your bodily sensations and hold all the above pieces together in your mind, and body you allow an opportunity for healing, the action patterns needed to complete and heal have an opportunity to do so and no longer remain stuck. As 2020 draws to a close, so many of us have felt "stuck" in our circumstances, lives, losses and homes. Will you decide to take on the unresolved pain as you turn towards 2021 and start a new year? Will you follow the steps above and allow yourself to move forwards? I hear people say, "I get in my own way." This might be true, but getting out of one's own way can be out of awareness. Awareness is your most powerful tool for getting unstuck. As 2021 approaches how will you reorganize yourself? Societally, we are being called to make change, 2020 has brought significant changes that have touched all our lives and each and everyone of us can take the reins and complete the next steps as powerful change agents in our own lives. Wishing you the best in 2021. Karen Unfortunately. . . .
Need I say more? That's 2020 in a wrap. Truthfully, so many people are recognizing the impact of social isolation on their mental, emotional and physical health. In what ways have you taken advantage of more time at home? A slower pace of life? Fewer opportunities to go out and conduct your life as normal? How are you discovering your own resilience in the face of challenging times? Have you reevaluated your typical coping strategies, or are some of them no longer working as they used to in our pre-pandemic times? In the Chineese symbol for crisis, I was told were the characters for danger and opportunity. Covid-19 has certainly brought both danger and opportunities to many of us. In my practice, I have come to appreciate tele-health. Before the pandemic, I didn't care for it much. Now, I find the convenience of working from home can be very effective and sometimes more effective than in the office. Clients are more comfortable in their own homes and appreciate not driving to the office. The commute times for us both are zero. I'm frequently wearing my slippers while working at my computer and tho I always dressed comfortably for work and maintain a commitment to my casual appearance, I was not wearing slippers to the office. Families are negotiating how they share space and manage time. Everyone being home all the time requires more communication. People need privacy and space as well as times of closeness and connection. Learning how best to balance this is a challenge for most families. I notice that clients are needing to learn to be more intentional with the people in their lives, in order for everyone to accomplish their goals. Of course, we also all know the distractions and challenges of working from home, children not in school, more frequent interruptions, technology challenges and everything at home getting messier quicker. The rise in tele-health provides an opportunity for people who have previously thought about seeking therapy or life-coaching to address concerns they needed to attend to and never got around to doing. Some people's symptoms have worsened under the stress that we all are experiencing. If you are not receiving services, consider this time to be the opportunity side of the "crisis." How does the pandemic make you evaluate what's important to you? Are there loved ones in your life who live alone, whose isolation has increased? How are you working to stay connected? Many of us were hopeful this pandemic would last a few months, but all pandemics in history tend towards 2-3 years. Although our scientists are busy at work on a vaccine, we vary well maybe in this for the long haul. Deaths associated with poverty, poor economy, mental health challenges associated with our pandemic will not be included in our "death toll" count for the pandemic, and unfortunately are equally lethal realities of living through a pandemic. Personal Lessons and Reevaluations from the Pandemic I really miss seeing my extended family who can't travel due to Covid-19. I particularly miss the interaction of my children with their grandparents. I recognize their grandparents don't have many years remaining to their lives, and this time not shared together brings grief. I learned that I used to travel a lot, and my home was a launching pad and landing zone between trips, and now I have learned to live inside my home. I sit down in places in my home that used to just be for others or walking past or looking at. Changing my chair, changes my location and sometimes it's just enough to have a small change of scenery, I don't always need a far away destination. I make ceramics and have learned to slow down, pay closer attention to details and in so doing I have increased my abilities. I learned that I don't want piano lessons anymore, and if I return to playing, I want to play songs I enjoy-- the beginner songs that I have played all three years of off and on lessons are boring and difficult to force myself through. Pre pandemic, I watched my son and a friend teach themselves a song on the piano from YouTube videos. Although I haven't tried it yet, I realized I need to stop playing for now, and when I return to it, return with a technology integrated approach and find a way to infuse more joy into it for me. I have done some personal growth work on myself and worked on strengthening the relations with those close to me in my life. I adopted and trained a dog (still training in progress, but doing great so far) I launched a second child I have found that Zoom can connect me to my loved ones, and is not a substitute for a meaningful in person experience, but is a good enough connector. Next up on my list is some more landscaping and gardening in my yard before winter. What have you learned? What opportunities have you taken? What is still on your list? What re-evaluations have you undertaken during this Pandemic? Best Wishes, Karen I'm sitting in a workshop and the presenter says, "visualize yourself in the running blocks at the starting line on a track...... (he has us really picture this, and we all feel ready to run when he says) on your marks, get set...." and that's it-- he stops speaking. There is a long silence and the room is pregnant with desire for one simple word: "GO!" Which the presenter did not say. He did this again and completed it saying, "on your marks, get set, go." And the room felt significantly different and relieved from the pressure of the incomplete action pattern.
When we have an incomplete action pattern we remain stuck, just like being in the starting blocks ready to run and can't. The drive for the completion is such a strong urge that it returns again and again, even when we don't want it to. Typically, people tend to avoid or suppress this urge for completion and resolution because the feelings are uncomfortable and it just seems like an annoyance that resurfaces from time to time. Since there's brief relief in how you manage to push it out of your awareness this becomes the predominant pattern that recapitulates carrying emotional pain forwards rather than enabling healing and resolution. How do we heal emotional pain: Step 1: learn to become resilient and present because no one can heal their pain when they are checked out, numb or avoiding their challenges. We all do it, but this won't work for healing. Step 2: Agree to take it on and explore the unresolved pain and explore everything you can about the pain: your thoughts, feelings, sensations and beliefs about yourself surrounding the pain. (If you didn't have the power to change the situation in the past, you can face that and realize you can change your reactions to it today.) There are situations we can't go back and change, but we don't have to keep it living rent free in our bodies either, continually knocking at the door, arising again and again looking for resolution. Step 3: follow the sensations in your body as you allow space for whatever arises, including any self judgements or criticisms, no matter how uncomfortable it is to allow space for the uncomfortable feelings. This is important as you agreed with yourself and decided to face it and take it on, stay with it as long as necessary, even though uncomfortable. Dr. Brown says emotional intensity rarely lasts longer than 6 seconds at it's peak. Step 4: When you closely track your bodily sensations and hold all the above pieces together in your mind, and body you allow an opportunity for healing, the action patterns needed to complete and heal have an opportunity to do so and no longer remain stuck. As 2020 draws to a close, so many of us have felt "stuck" in our circumstances, lives, losses and homes. Will you decide to take on the unresolved pain as you turn towards 2021 and start a new year? Will you follow the steps above and allow yourself to move forwards? I hear people say, "I get in my own way." This might be true, but getting out of one's own way can be out of awareness. Awareness is your most powerful tool for getting unstuck. As 2021 approaches how will you reorganize yourself? Societally, we are being called to make change, 2020 has brought significant changes that have touched all our lives and each and everyone of us can take the reins and complete the next steps as powerful change agents in our own lives. Wishing you the best in 2021. Karen Curiosity is defined as a strong desire to know or learn something.
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AuthorKaren Quigley Archives
September 2023
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