As parents it's our job to guide our children through challenging times and teach them to respond to their world in ways that are effective.
When we respond to our children with compassion while helping our kids develop the skills required to protect themselves, we open the door for learning to occur.
When we react, get excited, angry and take over the situation, we steal important growth opportunities from our children.
Rescue only when necessary.
We must rescue our children when they experience bullying so severe that it overwhelms their ability to cope physically or emotionally. That’s what good parents do.
Unnecessary rescuing creates weak kids who become more popular targets for bullies. Children feel helpless and perpetuate being the victim.
Listen with an open heart.
When our children are hurting, the most important thing we can do is listen with empathy, allowing them to express their full range of emotions. It is our job to tolerate their emotions, validate their feelings and teach them the skills to handle behaving properly for the situation. Of course, this can become difficult when we, too, are flooded with feelings over the issue.
Isn’t it true that when we know how much other people care, it makes the struggles we are facing seem more manageable? We often find that we too can handle challenging situations, when we know we are supported by those who love us, children experience strength from our love and compassion in the same capacity.
Empower them with the belief that they can cope.
Down deep, children feel empowered when we ask, “What do you think you might do to solve this problem?” While they may lack answers to this question, asking it demonstrates that we believe in their abilities.
Give them some practical experiments.
Learning to deal effectively with bullies hinges on our child’s ability to remain calm, or even use a bit of humor, when the bully tries to upset or provoke them.
People who learn how to handle bullying when they are kids, learn how to handle the bullies they will occasionally encounter as adults.
If you're not certain how to teach these skills to develop resilient children, who are capable of handling their challenges attend Love and Logic Parent Education on 10/18, 10/25, 11/1.